In between innings, while waiting for the pitcher of record to get to the pitching rubber, the shortstop takes the game ball and stands like a pitcher on the rubber. The offensive coach calls to the plate umpire (me) and indicates that the shortstop is now the pitcher of record and is required to pitch to at least one batter. What does the plate umpire do now?

 

Bonus question: What if the shortstop got on the rubber between innings and took eight warm-up pitches. Before the first batter of the inning got into the batter's box, the defensive coach yells that he never told the shortstop to pitch, so he is returning the last inning's pitcher from the bench to the mound and the shortstop should go to the bench. The offensive coach objects (he wants the super-star starting pitcher out of the game and the inexperienced shortstop to pitch). Now what?